Pride Guide 2005 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE
A-23
Please don't jump to conclusions about me
by Shelby Scanlon
Yes, I am going to leave you for the first decent-looking guy that comes along with a ring in his hand and a wad of cash in his belt. I have nothing better to do with my existence than to toy with you. Because my life is so devoid of character that I feel compelled to amuse myself by “playing” gay.
My problem isn't that I like guys. My problem isn't that I like women. My problem
The rainbow isn't just stripes of color. In between are shades, where one color ends and another hasn't quite begun.
is there are people who would rather blame the scary and frightening unknown based on knee-jerk reactions and stereotypes than their own insecurities. Because it has to be me, right? I have to be the problem.
You know, I don't get your orientation entirely either. I don't understand how when you look at a person if their gender isn't on your checklist you pass them by. I don't understand this any more than you understand that when I look at a person it's much more complex, whether I want them or not, than their gender. Complexity is what's frightening, not orientation. Romantic ideals of what people are to each other are easier to chew if reality is obvious, clear.
Finally! Someone
And that's what the movement is about, isn't it? That people, things aren't obvious, aren't clear. That the world isn't a factory pushing out people as widgets who follow the axiom of boy meets girl, gets married, has children, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence in a perfect version of what reality should be.
The rainbow isn't stripes of color independent of each other. In between red and orange, yellow and green, blue and purple, there are shades, fuzzy areas where one color ends and another hasn't quite yet begun. I exist here, in that fuzzy, hard-to-define area. I'm not alone. I'm proud of who I am, what I am.
I don't need to understand what it is to "think like a lesbian." I don't need to understand what it is to "think like a straight chick." Connection to another person, in whatever that relationship entails, never requires absolute understanding. It's not your orientation that matters to me. It's you, the whole you, that matters. Do you have a right to be here? Do you have the right to love who your heart calls for? Do you have the right to determine your own fate independent of the culture at large? My answer to these is a resounding yes. I should have these rights, and so should you.
So, go ahead, freak out because I'm bi. Pretend I don't exist. But the truth is, I belong here. I, and everyone else who exist in the complex in-between, have a seat at this table. So, if you have a ring in your hand and a wad of cash, I really don't want to go out with you. And if you have a chip on your shoulder because some bi person was a jerk to you ten years ago and somehow that now means that all bi people are jerks, I really don't want to go out with you either.
But you can pass me the mashed potatoes, oooh, and some barbecue seitan. I'm hungry.
Shelby Scanlon is a bisexual activist living in Cleveland.
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